Can Stress Anger Destroy Your Marriage?

Can  Stress Anger Destroy Your Marriage?

You  have just come home from a stress filled hard days work.  You are tired, hungry and your spouse walks into the room and starts complaining about this and that about something that you should or should not have done.  Now think for a minute- how do you normally react?  The second question is- how is your marriage?  It seems that if you are a woman, how you choose to react has a lot to do with the health of your marriage.  As victorian as it may sound, the research seems to bear it out

Womens reaction to Arguing can save a marriage

Womens reaction to Arguing can save a marriage

 

While it is commonly held that women play the role of caretaker and peacemaker in relationships, a new study from Lian Bloch at UC Berkeley is among the first to reveal this dynamic in action over a long period of time. Participants are part of a cohort of 156 heterosexual couples in the San Francisco Bay Area whose relationships researchers have tracked since 1989. “Bloch and fellow researchers at Berkeley and Northwestern University analyzed videotaped interactions of more than 80 middle-aged and older heterosexual couples, focusing on how they recovered from disagreements. Time and again they found that marriages in which wives quickly calmed down during disputes were ultimately shown to be the happiest, both in the short and long run…Results show that the link between the wives’ ability to control emotions and higher marital satisfaction was most evident when women used “constructive communication” to temper disagreements.” No matter how deeply you feel something, there are effective ways to communicate and there are ineffective ways to communicate.  see Evan Marx Katz blog for the whole article

Learning to communicate in a proactive rather than reactive way is the key to fostering relationships, as we saw in the study on communicating with teenagers.

Modern life is a stress filled adventure that we must and can learn to navigate so that our relationships don’t suffer. Fortunately there is a lot of good research and advise that can help us navigate the choppy waters. Whether we like it or not, our reactions do matter, and the way in which we choose to show up in the world can be consciously chosen. Of course, easier said than done.  I would like to know if you find this new research to be true?  What is your experience when it comes to your reaction to arguments?  What skills have you learned that help you stay calm?

To learn amazing 21st century state of the art solutions to modern stress anger that are available on your phone or tablet, be sure to check out our new digital magazine                           Real Stress Solutions.

To your Stress Anger Success!

Angela Bussio

Founder Attracting joyu.com

Editor/Publisher Real Stress Solutions Digital Magazine