Real Stress Solution: Calming the Teenage Beast

My children are growing up, leaving the house- and getting married.  I guess that I stand at the precipice of Grandmotherhood.  I actually am well prepared because of my  grown children’s puppies- dare I say, my “grand-puppies” who come to “grandma’s house” to visit. I have gates, and toys and little beds strewn throughout the house to accomodate these visits.  I care (neurotically) about these new members of our extended family becoming “responsible” members of  society, so I have also taken a keen interest in dog training!  I absolutely love Cesar Milan’s “Dog Whisperer” series, and have subsequently purchased his”Mastering Leadership” DVD collection.

 

It has been fascinating to me to learn that in order to be a dog’s leader, you must learn to speak to your dog’s brain- and until you do- he will not follow you.  I get excited as I practice these techniques and watch as these animals behavior falls into line- almost effortlessly.  I have to admit that it has made me feel a sense of empowerment that , unfortunately, I have rarely really felt as a parent!

What if there were some “techniques” for talking to a human’s brain?

 

There actually are some very powerful techniques for gaining influence and “rapport” with another individual. I am an NLP practitioner and am keenly aware that there certainly are ways for us to influence another’s behavior through mirroring techniques and by choosing certain words that match their particular learning “style” (another upcoming blog).

 

Although I know many of these techniques and use them regularly in my role as “coach /therapist” I will admit that many times when I switch back into the role of parent or friend, I default to some pretty ineffective  powerful, habitual communication patterns!

 

I am  a predominately auditory person, who by default, loves to talk, and probably, admittedly, talk about twice as much as I listen many times.  I live with a social “genius” who I have come to recognize, derives much of his strength in building, saving , and repairing (mostly with his talkative wife) relationships using his gift of listening.  Listening is a skill that I am intently trying to hone. In fact, it is definetly on my list as a top priority this year.

 

In line with that goal, I have just fininshed an amazing program by Eben Pagan and Dave Logan called  ”Connected” (www.connectedprogram.com) which is all about  learning to network and how to really connect with others.  As part of this program, they interviewed Dr. Mark Goulston (www.markgoulston.com )- a psychiatrist who actually trains swat teams and special agents to deal with hostage situations, and who has an AMAZING book out called “Just Listen”.  Sounds like a title that I need!

 

 

This book may be the equiviilant of Cesar Milan’s Dog Whisperer for humans!  It is absolutely fascinating as he outlines techniques, scripts  that can train anyone to learn to SPEAK to the human brains “Mirror Nuerons”, and give you “buy-in”!  It is a sequence of knowing the right words to say, and then intently listening.  I have been enthusiatically endorsing, and  sharing this book with everyone I know, because almost everyone I know has trouble getting “buy-in” with someone- especially those we are closest too in our home and work environments.  I am feeling a level of empowerment similar to the one I  felt with my grand-puppies!

 

 

In this same program, Eben and Dave introduce another man named Opher Brayer (www.opherbrayer.com) who has designed a “methodology” for connecting with others and  using mathematics and music, has developed 31 formulas for “storytelling” or talking to others about your vision.  This was absolutely fascinating- because it is another arena, like listening, that we all perceive as being “intuitive”.

 

He teaches that when you are talking, you can use his formulas, which are different derivations of rythym, speed, high and low tones that also access the brain and have an emotional impact similar to music!  As a natural talker , it was validating to know that talking in the right way can be as effective as listening in the right way can be.

 

 

I feel like my effective communication “tool-belt” has just become “super charged!  Making real, lasting changes in my communication style seems possible!  Are you ready to add these skills to your repertoire?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My children are growing up, leaving the house- and getting married.  I guess that I stand at the precipice of Grandmotherhood.  I actually am well prepared because of my  grown children’s puppies- dare I say, my “grand-puppies” who come to “grandma’s house” to visit. I have gates, and toys and little beds strewn throughout the house to accomodate these visits.  I care (neurotically) about these new members of our extended family becoming “responsible” members of  society, so I have also taken a keen interest in dog training!  I absolutely love Cesar Milan’s “Dog Whisperer” series, and have subsequently purchased his”Mastering Leadership” DVD collection.

 

It has been fascinating to me to learn that in order to be a dog’s leader, you must learn to speak to your dog’s brain- and until you do- he will not follow you.  I get excited as I practice these techniques and watch as these animals behavior falls into line- almost effortlessly.  I have to admit that it has made me feel a sense of empowerment that , unfortunately, I have rarely really felt as a parent!

What if there were some “techniques” for talking to a human’s brain?

 

There actually are some very powerful techniques for gaining influence and “rapport” with another individual. I am an NLP practitioner and am keenly aware that there certainly are ways for us to influence another’s behavior through mirroring techniques and by choosing certain words that match their particular learning “style” (another upcoming blog).

 

Although I know many of these techniques and use them regularly in my role as “coach /therapist” I will admit that many times when I switch back into the role of parent or friend, I default to some pretty ineffective  powerful, habitual communication patterns!

 

I am  a predominately auditory person, who by default, loves to talk, and probably, admittedly, talk about twice as much as I listen many times.  I live with a social “genius” who I have come to recognize, derives much of his strength in building, saving , and repairing (mostly with his talkative wife) relationships using his gift of listening.  Listening is a skill that I am intently trying to hone. In fact, it is definetly on my list as a top priority this year.

 

In line with that goal, I have just fininshed an amazing program by Eben Pagan and Dave Logan called  ”Connected” (www.connectedprogram.com) which is all about  learning to network and how to really connect with others.  As part of this program, they interviewed Dr. Mark Goulston (www.markgoulston.com )- a psychiatrist who actually trains swat teams and special agents to deal with hostage situations, and who has an AMAZING book out called “Just Listen”.  Sounds like a title that I need!

 

 

This book may be the equiviilant of Cesar Milan’s Dog Whisperer for humans!  It is absolutely fascinating as he outlines techniques, scripts  that can train anyone to learn to SPEAK to the human brains “Mirror Nuerons”, and give you “buy-in”!  It is a sequence of knowing the right words to say, and then intently listening.  I have been enthusiatically endorsing, and  sharing this book with everyone I know, because almost everyone I know has trouble getting “buy-in” with someone- especially those we are closest too in our home and work environments.  I am feeling a level of empowerment similar to the one I  felt with my grand-puppies!

 

 

In this same program, Eben and Dave introduce another man named Opher Brayer (www.opherbrayer.com) who has designed a “methodology” for connecting with others and  using mathematics and music, has developed 31 formulas for “storytelling” or talking to others about your vision.  This was absolutely fascinating- because it is another arena, like listening, that we all perceive as being “intuitive”.

 

He teaches that when you are talking, you can use his formulas, which are different derivations of rythym, speed, high and low tones that also access the brain and have an emotional impact similar to music!  As a natural talker , it was validating to know that talking in the right way can be as effective as listening in the right way can be.

 

 

I feel like my effective communication “tool-belt” has just become “super charged!  Making real, lasting changes in my communication style seems possible!  Are you ready to add these skills to your repertoire?